To-Do Lists

I find it frustrating sometimes that the kind of work I do here can’t be crossed off a To-Do list and put in a filing cabinet at the end of the day. There is something within my human nature that wants a list of tasks to accomplish, wants to see tangible progress, wants to be able to exert force and effort and creativity and see results produced. There is comfort in equations and formulas because when you put certain ingredients together, you get definite results, and that validates your work and makes you feel like you have purpose.

I do have a handful of “tasks.” Writing the curriculum for Home Groups, filming and editing videos for the outreaches, planning the details for a missions trip abroad, just to name a few. These are things I can make lists for, which I love because then I get to cross things off and I feel really good about myself. But in all actuality, my fulltime job here is PEOPLE. Loving them…Understanding them…Building relationships with them…Praying for them. All the things that aren’t tangible, things that don’t fit into filing cabinets, things that you can’t make To-Do lists for. It’s not like I can just wake up each morning and say,

“Alrighty, what do we have on the schedule today? Looks like we’re working on Stephanie and Marcus.
Okay, Stephanie needs

• more discernment in her relationships
• a deeper understanding of God’s love for her
• a desire to read the Bible.

Now, let’s see …..what do we have for Marcus? Oh yes, that’s right:

• Salvation
• Baptism of the Holy Spirit
• a burden for his unsaved flatmates.

Okay, great, I’ll just go take care of those today.”

Nope, it sure doesn’t work like that. The past week or so I’ve been reflecting on this. I was thinking about how many students on Aberdeen University campus that I have not only given an invitation to an outreach at the Hog’s Head Pub, but have actually stopped and had a conversation with. I’ve talked with them about their studies, where they’re from, how they’re getting on with university life. Yet none of them have shown up to Hog’s Head. It can become wearisome if you lose sight of the big picture.

But then last night happens. Twelve girls show up to my flat for Home Group, five of them there for the first time. And we totally connect, have an awesome time, and the last four to leave don’t head out the door until almost 11pm. After the Bible study, Claire, one of the first timers, informs me, “Actually, I’m not a Christian.” Claire studied for three months at a university in England, pursuing a degree in English, but dropped out because she felt like the degree she was seeking had no purpose. She wants to be a writer, but is now pursuing a degree in Religious Studies at Aberdeen University. When I asked her why she chose Religious Studies, she really couldn’t give me a straight answer. “I dunno…it just seemed like it had more meaning and purpose….” And I realize “Oh yeah….that’s why I’m here.” I’m here because Claire needs someone to walk with her as she searches for the Truth, as she “explores” Christianity, because she’s desperate for answers and God is pursing her .

Another student, *Kerin, has only been a Christian for a year and a half. She let down her guard at one point during the discussion and admitted, “I had no idea how hard it would be to resist partying when I came to University. Inside my nice Christian bubble at home with all my Christian friends, I never felt the desire to go back to my old life….” And I realize….I’m here because Kerin needs someone to hang out with on the weekends when the temptation to return to her old lifestyle is almost unbearable.

*Samantha has been saved less than a year. It’s only in the past few months that she has really taken her relationship with God seriously. This Sunday she’s getting baptized, and like any new Christian, she is full of questions. I’m here because Samantha needs answers and explanations and discipleship.

In this line of work it’s very easy to lose sight of the Big Picture and feel like you’re not really making a difference. When working with the human heart and soul, progress can be very slow and sometimes impossible to see. Just when I need it, God reminds me that one man plants the seed and another man waters, but it’s the Lord who brings the Harvest. Even when I can’t see where I’m at in that process and I don’t have hard core evidence or tangible results, I know that God is working.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9