Relational Discipleship

A couple of my friends from the States have asked me, “What does a typical day in the life of Anna Murch look like?” I thought about it and concluded that I don’t really have a typical day. Once construction on the church is completed, Radiate will have its own office. But until then we mainly just work from our homes (and local coffee shops, of course :0). Lacking an office for the time being, I don’t really have a set schedule that is the same everyday. I guess you could say we have a set schedule of events that repeat themselves (see journal “What Is Radiate?” for more info), and a portion of the time in between those events is spent doing whatever is needed to prepare and plan for them. But in addition to this, a significant amount of my time is spent mentoring, discipling, and spending time with students one on one. I would even venture to say that a huge (or the main?) way that I minister here is through relationships. It’s caused me to realize the deeply significant role that relationships play in our lives.

Scotty Gibbons, the youth director at my church in Missouri, always tells his youth staff that “ministry happens through relationships and relationships take time.” TIME. There’s no substitute for it. I’ve been here for just over a month now. The students took to me quickly and immediately made room for me in their hearts, which I am exceedingly grateful to God for. Scottish people are wonderful—friendly, hospitable, helpful, hard workers. But getting to know a Scot is quite different than getting to know an American. Americans are pretty open about personal things. Basically, we’ll talk to anybody about anything. It takes much longer to earn a Scottish person’s trust. Sarah described it to me like this:

There are two walls to get past when getting to know someone, an inner and an outer wall. Americans have a very low outer wall. It wouldn’t be uncommon to sit down with someone you don’t know very well and share your “testimony,” or all about your life, family, etc, etc. We talk about more personal things with strangers and such. But Americans have a very high inner wall. Because we are more nomadic and we don’t know who is going to hurt us, who’s not, who’s gonna stick around, and who’s gonna leave when things get hard, once people get past the outer wall we’re more guarded with who we really let in.

Scottish people have a very high outer wall and a very low inner wall. They’re very friendly and nice when you meet them and are getting to know them, but you really have to earn their trust before you tread on personal territory past the outer wall. However, once you’re in, you’re IN, for life. Scottish people expect their relationships to last forever, they expect you to be their friend for life. No matter what you do, no matter how you look, no matter how you act, if you’re in, then you’re in the family and they won’t get rid of you for any reason.

Keeping all this in mind, one of my main prayers while I’m here is that God would give me grace and favor in my relationships with these students. It has been challenging just because building any kind of significant relationship really takes time. God has been answering my prayers, though. He’s been giving me opportunities to spend time with the students, to share my life with them, to walk with them through theirs. Just this weekend during dinner at Sarah and Rob’s wedding, I got to have two really significant conversations with a couple of the girls from Radiate. Another one is coming over for dinner tonight.

So, this is what I do with my time. This is a typical day “in a nutshell.” I wake up and I get on my knees and I pray for these students. I ask God for Grace. I search His Word for answers to their questions. I take them out for coffee. I go shopping with them. I have 20 of them over to my flat for game night (see photos :0). I make them banana bread. I go on their University campuses and help them invite unsaved students to our outreaches. And when their unsaved friends come, I sit down and have conversations with them. I listen as they share their thoughts, questions, and hopes at the small group Bible study on Wednesday nights. I am transparent with them. I look for ways to encourage their hunger for God. I let them see my flaws so that they feel safe to show me theirs. I try my hardest to teach them in word and deed and to always point them to Jesus.